Blog

Pre Date Research: Should You Online Stalk Your Date?

With so much information about everyone online in today’s digital age, it may be difficult to resist the urge to stalk your new date online.  Our question is – why should you resist it?  If they’re willing to air their dirty laundry online, you may want to pass them up.  Lots of people think you shouldn’t stalk your date online.  While we understand that it’s important to get a first impression during the first date, there are some solid arguments as to why you should stalk your date online.

Here are our top reasons.

To See If They’re Actually Single

You’d be surprised how many people lie about being single and don’t take down the evidence from their social media accounts.  It’s sad, but true.  A quick search on social media should be able to uncover if they’re lying to you or not.  While we recommend checking to see if they’re actually with someone else, it’s important to go into the search believing everything they told you – if you’re going in trying to prove them right, the relationship isn’t going to work.

Relationships are built on trust, and you should trust your new date – after all, have they done anything yet to betray your trust?  An online investigation should be fact-finding only.  Taking a brief look at social media accounts or a simple Google search should give you enough information about your new date.

Verify Their Identity

Chances are, you’ve seen the MTV show Catfish.  You don’t want to be the victim of a catfisher if you haven’t met you date in person already.  We highly recommend against starting a relationship online, which is why our We Click events are always in person – you’re getting genuine human connection with each date you’re on.

If you’ve decided to move forward with a relationship that was formed online, do everything you can to verify their identity.  Not only will it give you peace of mind when you finally meet in person, it can also keep you safe.  Meeting someone online can be dangerous if you’re not careful, so we always recommend proceeding with caution.

Check Their Employment

We are on the fence about this one – if they’re upfront and honest about their employment situation, you shouldn’t go out to their social media looking to catch them in a lie.  However, if you’ve been talking about employment and they’re giving vague answers, it may be a good idea to see what you can find online.  It shouldn’t be a deal breaker, but if they’re not honest with you about their employment, there better be a good reason why.

What Not to Look For

While we think harmless online stalking is completely fine before or after a first date, there are some things you shouldn’t go looking for.  You shouldn’t scour their social media page looking for their stance on important issues.  That’s a conversation that you should have in person and it can bring you closer together by having important conversations.

You also shouldn’t stalk their past relationships.  More than likely there’s history online about your new date’s old relationships, but that shouldn’t be something you go looking for.  If your new partner wants to bring up past relationships, it’s completely up to them.  Leave the important things to discuss in person on your next date.

We think stalking your new date online is completely fine if it’s done correctly.  You can gather some important information on your new date without going overboard.  It shouldn’t take more than a few minutes of searching to find what you need – if you find yourself investing a lot of time in your research, it may be time to stop.