The dating world is hard and that’s especially true if you have dating anxiety. Usually, dating anxiety will stem from social anxiety, which happens to be one of the most common psychological disorders in the Australia. If you’re having a hard time overcoming your dating anxiety, you should read our tips below.
This is what people with dating anxiety struggle with quite often. You can read plenty of books about how some pickup lines or games will get a girl to fall in love with you, but the truth is that a relationship is built on trust and that starts with sharing your personality with another.
Since people with anxiety have a hard time opening up to others, you might find it hard to disclose yourself to your date.
To get over this, you might find it easier to talk about something you love. If you like video games, you can talk about one that you’re really in to at the moment. If you love pets, you can talk to your date about the best animals you’ve owned.
The Fear of Judgement
Anyone who’s gone on a date has gone through this.
You’re scared of being judged.
You’re scared that your date won’t like your jeans or your cologne or your hair. Still, your anxiety can make a home out of this insecurity and fool you into thinking that your date is judging you much more than he or she is.
Your lowered self esteem might make you think that other people have the same negative thoughts about you, but this is your own projection.
Once you realize that the other person is just as nervous as you are, you’ll feel more comfortable on your date.
Accepting Your Disorder
When you accept your disorder, you can begin to find ways to manage it. Anxiety will often trigger thoughts like “I’m not good enough to be loved” or “I can’t survive rejection”.
When you think negative thoughts about yourself, you should remind yourself that it’s your anxiety that is making you think like that.
Mindfulness is a practise that is taught throughout many cultures; more specifically, in Buddhism. Mindful thinking essentially demands that you recognise the present moment rather than focus on your past or future.
Being mindful is a lot harder than it seems, though, because you have to make the decision to be mindful. It’s somewhat like meditation. Focus on your senses and make sure you fill your lungs completely with air.
Practising mindfulness will allow you to focus less on your anxiety and more on your date.
Emotional intelligence is when you’re able to analyze the person in front of you and determine how they’re feeling. Those who are emotionally intelligent will then alter their own behavior to match the person they’re with.
Do you have a date coming up?
Are you getting back in the dating world?
Whatever it is that’s brought you to this page, you’re not the only one. Plenty of people are anxious about first dates, but it’s important that you learn how to prevent this anxiety from controlling you.
The best ways to do this are to practise emotional intelligence and mindfulness, to be yourself, to accept your disorder, and to recognize that your anxiety is actually a fear of judgement.